It's nearly been a week since my IUI. I am starting to get on board the maybe-pregnancy crazy train. Everyday I look up pictures of blastocyst development, imagining what my little blastie might be doing, if there is even one there. If we are blessed enough, and fertilization has taken place, then implantation would be happening around the next few days. I am following this TWW day by day, google search by google search, twinge by twinge.
Choo choo, all aboard the crazy train!
On the day of my IUI when I was being scanned in the morning, I was left alone in the ultrasound room at the clinic. I went over and looked at all the ultrasound pictures hanging on the wall. Black and white fuzzy pictures of recognizable baby forms. I stared for a particularly long time at the smallest baby - still very much in embryo form and I instinctively reached out and gently touched the picture. To have a connection with it. To believe that one day this would be my ultrasound scan I was staring at. I just want this one. Just this little itty bitty one. The tears started to well up in my eyes and I suddenly remembered I better get my underwear on before Dr.B starts to wonder what I am doing in here.
Time to stop staring at ultrasound scans that aren't mine. Time to stop looking at blastocyst day-by-day development - blastocysts that aren't mine. Time to just breathe and have hope. Maybe, maybe, maybe, baby?
I really really really want this. Sigh.
Sigh. I know it. I'm wishing and hoping and praying this is your month, and you'll have your very own U/S pics to fawn over soon. And me too :)
ReplyDeleteBeautifully expressed. Really really want you to have it. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI want it for you, too. Please, universe, give Clare her wish this time.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Maddy
I really want it for you too. Holding you in my thoughts!
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed that you will have your own u/s pic up on the wall soon!
ReplyDeleteWishing and hoping for you and mr. t.
ReplyDeleteFunny how the 'want' is the only consistent thing about IF.
ReplyDeleteWishing and hoping that the next week moves swiftly, and leaves you with good news.
Hugs, my friend.
What a beautifully worded post. I agree with Pie, hope you get to put your own u/s picture up on that wall soon, for other future mums to gaze longingly at.
ReplyDeleteHoping for the best for you.
Good luck, the wait is definitely not the nicest thing. I hope one of these days the photos you'll be posting will be of your own little miracle!
ReplyDeleteThat is what it's about girl, hope, hope and more hope.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers.
I wish and hope that this is your month, that a little embryo like the picture you touched is snuggled up warm and cuddly inside of you. Sending much love.
ReplyDeletePrayers
ReplyDeleteHey lady from LFCA, hoping & praying that this cycle brings you your little one. Beautifully written post:)
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping and sending wishes to the universe for you.
ReplyDeleteIt was great to hear from you again! Thanks for your kind words. Wishing you the best of luck and sending many prayers your way for a successful cycle. Lots of Love, Cathy
ReplyDeleteVisiting for LFCA as a newbie. I know the feeling and wanting to look at your own ultrasound pics instead of someone else's for a change. Hoping you get to do that soon!
ReplyDelete