Anybody's guess?

I am now well into my 10th week and it feels like this pregnancy is anybody's guess. I do still have symptoms and some days they are strong and I am retching over the sink and other days not so much. I swing from believing I have already miscarried to being sure everything is fine and the baby's heart is beating away and I can start thinking about pregnancy pillows, vitamin E cream and birth plans.

And somedays I just don't know. The end of this first trimester feels like one big roller coaster.

I went to see the lovely TCM lady a few days ago and told her all my fears. She really explained to me how important it is for my baby that I try to stay on an even keel. I explained why I didn't want to do the scan yet and asked if there were any things she could do that would give an indication of how things were going. She checked my pulses and said that I had a very strong pregnancy pulse - the way the pulse feels changes during pregnancy and becomes more slippery apparently. She asked me if I had any inkling as to whether it was a boy or a girl, which I don't, I just want to know if it's alive. But my mum and Mr.T both think it's a boy. TCM lady agreed, she told me the pregnancy pulse is very strong on the left side which usually means it's a boy. Wow. Very cool. But ultimately I only care that it is alive and healthy - the boy/girl thing does not matter to me one bit. I just want an alive, healthy baby. She told me that she felt everything was fine but that nobody can tell me that for definite, only a scan will. So while I feel relatively reassured I still don't feel I can fully relax and enjoy the pregnancy yet. I just hope I am on track and all is good. Only 2 weeks to go before the moment of truth!